The Next Step

I think I'm making an effort to take a step forward. Somehow there is determination this time rather than the usual "yeah yeah, I'm trying". This obviously has cause a significant stress on me, mostly from myself.

I noticed my sleep quality has significantly deteriorate ever since I decided to go for it. But the worst should be over on Saturday. Despite my sleeping discomfort, I keep having this image in my mind. It took me a while to figure out what it is. It is the image of breaking through. A break through of what has been holding me back. I take this as a good sign that I'm moving towards the right direction. Having that figured out, my sleep quality improved a bit.

On a side note, my parents have left me in charge of the house for a week while they went for a holiday with other couples. Parents enjoying life after their children have grown up.

It's been a while...

I have finished reading the book "The Pact" by Jodi Picoult. I think this is the closest Emily could be with Chris.

The story goes like this...put in a context that you'll understand easier...no reference to any person in particular...

Usui stumbles out of the building, all bloodied. He walks a few steps then slumps to the floor. "I'm sorry, my love." he whispered. " I can't keep our promise." He began reminiscing about the days they spend together. How he would tease her, how she would get mad at him. And those times when they fought and argued. They all seems like good memories now. Especially the day when she said "Yes."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Misaki. She ran to him, tears in her eyes. She knelt beside him and held his hand. "I'm sorry." he said. "You have nothing to be sorry about." she replied. "Thank you for this pass few months. I was very happy," he said. A smile crept to his face and his hand went limp.

and this is for you "Misaki".

Mom

I just realized that what my mom does and what she says have a significant effect on my mood....

Mostly my mood becomes worse...