It's A Story

Read the following as the music plays.

0.00 -0.10 He came to this world. She came to this world.

0.11-0.18 They grew up together.

0.19-0.25 He always talk about studying overseas.

0.26-0.32 She don't want to part with him but still supported his idea of studying overseas.

0.33-0.43 He bought a ticket and depart by boat. The ship sails into the distance.

0.44-0.51 He completed his studies earning his degree.

0.51-0.59 He said goodbye to his friends, bought his ticket and headed home in a boat.

1.00-1.08 The boat he was in is caught in a storm. He was swept into the sea. He sank into the darkness.

1.09-1.16 He hugged her. And he vanished in her arms.

1.17-1.24 She woke up from her sleep and knows that he's gone forever. She cried.

1.28 Her teardrop hits the ground.

愚公移山

愚公移山 (yu2 gong1 yi2 shan1) litterally means stupid person moving a mountain.

The story goes by where this person Mr. Yu like on one side of the mountain. Everyday he goes to work on the other side of the mountain. One day, he got fed up of having to walk so far every morning. So he gathered his children and began digging at the mountain wanting to move it away. He continues for a very long time but the mountain doesn't seem to even become smaller. But he never gave up. Another person pass by and ask Mr. Yu why is he digging at the mountain. As Mr. Yu replied, the man laugh out loud. He told Mr. Yu that instead moving the mountain he should shift his house to the other side of the mountain. And he went away laughing. Mr. Yu said even if I don't succeed at moving the mountain, my sons and their sons will continue my work till one day the mountain is moved away. The heavens was so touched by his determination that two deities were sent down to move the mountain away.

Moral of the story: what ever they use to tell you like don't do such stupid stuff and what not. And there is no such thing as deity helping you.

But the true moral behind it is that other people are never supportive. They laugh at you for doing something out of the ordinary, keep wanting you to stick to norm. And this is how dreams die.

Don't be afraid of what other people say as long as you believe that the path you are taking is right for you. Only you know what is truly good for you and never get dissuaded by other people.

It's Alright

As I was leaving her house, I felt a very strong sense of sadness in me. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I have reached my limit of keeping things in, maybe something else I don't know of. As I drive on, this feeling of sadness slowly transformed into some sort of anger, hatred feel. I repeatedly think "It's alright, calm down." but the feeling is slowly building up. Up to a point where I feel like smashing things. And at a traffic light, a car try to cut in front of me. First reaction, block that car out. Then I told myself "calm down, let him pass. It's alrgiht."

But still the feeling is getting worse and worse. I realized that I was gripping the steering wheel extremely hard. I thought that one day when I can no longer control it, I might hurt someone. But then again, I feel like I would hurt myself first before I would hurt other people. For so long, I have been hurting myself in a way to de-stress. Maybe you all notice it, maybe not.

When I reached home, I really felt like not smiling. But still, I put on a smiling face. I guess I still can show them the "me" that I feel like I am. It doesn't feel good to be wearing a mask in front of my family. But what can I do? They tell me they know what I want but they can't give it to me. I wonder, what do I really want?

The counselor say that it is a learnt behavior and can be unlearned. But I feel that it is a characteristic that I have for a very long time and I don't think it can be changed. For now, while I am still in control, I hope that I will find enough people whom I can trust to stop me when I lose control.

"It's alright. As long as I'm wearing this mask, it's alright."

Yet Another Weekly Update

Monday - What did I do last Monday? I only remembered that I honked someone on the road and watched Jerry Maguire.

Tuesday - Found a group for my PSY203. Watch many short clips of the growth of a fetus till birth in PSY203.

Wednesday - Have lotsa fun in Public Speaking. We had to draw our face using our non-dominant hand. Then the lecturer randomized the paper and give us a random piece. We had to find the person based on the drawing and ask them their name, nickname, likes and dislikes. Well, since I'm one of the two males in class and the only male wearing glasses, it doesn't take a genius to identify my drawing. After that, we were to tell the class the name, nickname, likes and dislikes of the person we got.

Thursday - Mass class skipping by group 4 in PSY212. Our group started with 8 people. Boon Woei came in late. Halfway through the playing game, 4 people disappeared. And at our first break, led by Betsy (I hope you forgive me), we all left class. Reasons given were -- class got no meaning, want to watch movie, car is parked at Ai Li's place so have to follow someone, and others.

Friday - Meeting about our Film. At first we were lost, very lost. But after some ideas here and there, we have a more concrete story line now. Still much to work on but at least we're getting somewhere.

Saturday - Why is my Saturdays always blank??

Sunday - Went out to DotA. Expecting mom to be home quite late so I decided to go for a gaming session. However by the time I returned, everyone was already back at home. Mom asked me where I went. So I told her. She said she came back at 6++pm, which is right after I left home. @.@ Oh well, at least I had a fun time playing DotA. 3 wins and 1 defeat. ^.^